“I still remember the days I spent praying, for what I have now” It was 20 years ago almost exactly...that I said my vows and thought life would be like most fairy tales. I would be waiting at home with an apron on for my husband to come home from work with his dinner on the table. The home would be spotless and tidy and there would be children running about in the most mannerly way. A perfect husband, a perfect home, a perfect life with all the perfect children we desired. Have you ever tried a Pinterest project with high hopes of it turning out just as you thought it would? And than it was the most tragic epic fail of your life?
Well, that's how my marriage was...I was....and my non existent Children where.
Once we were married, we tried to have kids right away. We waited and waited. AND waited. Nothing. There wasn’t much more I desired than to be a mama. And it was just not happening. My marriage started to hurt, I started to hurt and my relationships started to hurt. It was hard to be places …
I got saved right before my 13th birthday.I loved laughing, and I still do.But, I carried this weight of loneliness
around, even though I was surrounded with friends.There was a void in my heart, and I didn’t
know how it was to be filled, but I longed for it to be made full.I was so young; I don’t really remember what
I thought about God.I remember always
believing God was there and He knew everything about me.I always believed the Bible was true and that
there was Heaven and Hell.Furthermore,
I knew that God sent his one and only Son to die for my sins so that we could
have eternal life. The thing was it wasn’t personal.I was young, and influenced by the pop
culture of my day and my peers in school.The girls at school loved talking about boys they liked, and experimented
with wearing make-up and wearing fashionable clothes.I felt so pressured to be like them, so I
could fit in, and be liked.Everyone
wants to be liked.Maybe that would fill
the void my heart felt.But, I had
voices in my…
"This is amazing grace This is unfailing love That You would take my place That You would bear my cross You lay down Your life That I would be set free Oh, Jesus, I sing for All that You've done for me"
In the last few months this song has been in my heart as a reminder of what God has done for me. As God works in my life, It seems that what I have to share with you is constantly changing. Once again I have left the task of writing this to the last minute. This is what I have to share as of today, March 3rd, 2019.
I have studied Paul's letters quite a bit lately. Paul encouraged Christians even in times when he was suffering for his faith. I have been amazed at what all God did in his life! I believe much of what I have gone through is in preparation to serve God more faithfully. Today I can say that is what I want. A few verses that sometime leave me baffled are these: James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you …