Lighthouse Keepers

“I still remember the days I spent praying, for what I have now” It was 20 years ago almost exactly...that I said my vows and thought life would be like most fairy tales. I would be waiting at home with an apron on for my husband to come home from work with his dinner on the table. The home would be spotless and tidy and there would be children running about in the most mannerly way. A perfect husband, a perfect home, a perfect life with all the perfect children we desired. Have you ever tried a Pinterest project with high hopes of it turning out just as you thought it would? And than it was the most tragic epic fail of your life? Well, that's how my marriage was...I was....and my non existent Children where. Once we were married, we tried to have kids right away. We waited and waited. AND waited. Nothing. There wasn’t much more I desired than to be a mama. And it was just not happening. My marriage started to hurt, I started to hurt and my relationships started to...

Over the past year or so, God has been showing me  about the power of words and the importance of being real to yourself and others. Being able to accept hard times in life and being willing to be honest about them and using them to help your brothers and sisters in Christ, even if it makes you look a little less like you got it all together. None of us really does. We need each other. It started when our second baby was born.   I had a hard several months with him being gassy and being difficult to put to sleep.   I caught myself constantly being concerned that I might come off as not knowing what I was doing and always having to justify or make a defence for a struggle when asked.   I would say things like, “ya he’s gassy today,” but would be sure to add, “but he is not always like this, he is usually pretty good.”   I remember hearing myself one day and realized God was telling me it was ok to not be ok all the time.   Someone trie...