Lighthouse Keepers

How convinced are we of the Lord’s love for us? How personal is it in our lives? Does he care what our feelings are toward Him? This past year was the hardest time of my life. I had gone through bouts of discouragement and anxiety before, but this one surpassed them all. Expecting with our fourth child, it started off a little rocky with inner fears and anxieties. But this quickly gave way to much bigger and deeper issues. I had always harboured anxious thoughts about God, wondering if He really did accept me and if Jesus really did love me, seeing as how I fell so short so often. But suddenly my shortcomings were so magnified I didn’t know where to turn. My mind felt like it was going crazy. (Source) I have always tried to have some sort of control in my life, but when this depression hit me, I was left with nothing. Empty. Stripped of my crutches I used to lean on. I felt like nothing in my life mattered anymore. I cried out to God for mercy, desperately searching the scriptu...

When anxiety and despair come knocking what do you do? (Source) I have never really struggled with anxiety to the extent I'm sure some of you have, but within the last year the Lord has been revealing to me how much I depend on controlling certain areas of my life for my sense of security. With my parents moving to Mexico for missions, raising young children; which is the most faith testing experience I have ever gone/am going through, becoming pregnant after struggling with infertility, this year has been a bit of a hard one. Not that these things are bad, but they were unplanned, unexpected and disrupted what I thought I had going for me, or how I had things planned out in my head. The Lord has been so kind and gentle in reminding me of his promises and his care for me in every situation. I am learning that resting in Jesus no matter how difficult the battle may be whether it is an internal or external one is really the safest place to be. This is a process though...

Are you anxious? Are you worried? Are you afraid?   We have so much to be anxious, worried and afraid about. Often our feet have not even hit the floor yet and we have something worrying us or we haven't even had your breakfast yet and we've already heard some bad news. Almost every single news outlet thrives on making sure we get the news, the terrible, the horrible, the no good, the very bad and depressing news. The news we hate to hear but we actually look for it, we listen for it, without even consciously knowing. Maybe it's because our focus is more on the negative events that are going on around us. It's almost like a habit.  Most people would agree that the media is too focussed on the bad news.  Sorry to be the one to tell you girls, but we look for it and they know it. Two men from a well-known university set up a "tracking the eye" experiment on the computers in the university la...

Even though it is February, I don't want to write about flowers, chocolates, and mushy lovey dovey stuff. I want to write about something that happens all year round to many different people. Anxiety! As far back as I can remember I had a fear of almost everything; from water, to dogs, to getting sick, I feared and worried about everything. Those fears only increased as I got older. One of the biggest things that sparked my anxiety was a sudden onset of some strange symptoms with my health. When I was 16 I started getting these episodes where half of my body would go numb, I couldn't see clearly or focus or speak clearly. I was honestly terrified but I didn't tell anyone. The episodes happened a couple of times a year. It wasn't until about 7 years later when I was married and had two children that I finally went to see a doctor. He sent me to get her an MRI and to see a neurologist. In this time I prayed a lot. "Be anxious for nothing,  but in everything...