Lighthouse Keepers

"This is amazing grace This is unfailing love That You would take my place That You would bear my cross You lay down Your life That I would be set free Oh, Jesus, I sing for All that You've done for me" In the last few months this song has been in my heart as a reminder of what God has done for me. As God works in my life, It seems that what I have to share with you is constantly changing. Once again I have left the task of writing this to the last minute. This is what I have to share as of today, March 3rd, 2019. I have studied Paul's letters quite a bit lately. Paul encouraged Christians even in times when he was suffering for his faith. I have been amazed at what all God did in his life! I believe much of what I have gone through is in preparation to serve God more faithfully. Today I can say that is what I want. A few verses that sometime leave me baffled are these: James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trial...

“I still remember the days I spent praying, for what I have now” It was 20 years ago almost exactly...that I said my vows and thought life would be like most fairy tales. I would be waiting at home with an apron on for my husband to come home from work with his dinner on the table. The home would be spotless and tidy and there would be children running about in the most mannerly way. A perfect husband, a perfect home, a perfect life with all the perfect children we desired. Have you ever tried a Pinterest project with high hopes of it turning out just as you thought it would? And than it was the most tragic epic fail of your life? Well, that's how my marriage was...I was....and my non existent Children where. Once we were married, we tried to have kids right away. We waited and waited. AND waited. Nothing. There wasn’t much more I desired than to be a mama. And it was just not happening. My marriage started to hurt, I started to hurt and my relationships started to...

I’ll never forget the day when my second oldest, who couldn't have been more then four at the time said to me, “mommy are you happy at me?” And I immediately said “of course I am happy about you. I love you so much!”  Then she completely caught me off guard and replied “then smile at me.”    Even as I write this I feel the power of those words coming from my little girls mouth. It made my stomach turn.  It literally shook me and broke my heart that she could sense that I was obviously not happy and simply did not have joy right then.  I could tell her that yes I was happy but I knew she knew better. That day I realized that I had been depriving my sweet precious family of a vey powerful and wonderful gift.  The gift of joy. I had had a hard day..or probably a hard week and I had let it drain me of joy and happiness and my dear family had to feel the consequences of it. It was not fair at all. Since then God has so often reminded me of that day and I ...

This blog was hard in coming together for me. I just had all kinds of ideas in my head  that just didn't come together right. I've done lots of journaling since I was about 10, but  you just can't be as transparent with the world as you can be with yourself. I will attempt  to share a little bit about what I believe the Lord has been teaching me.  (Source) First of all, I'm someone whose mind can go all over the place in a short amount of  time. I see way too many things I could be doing as a mother and wife with no time to  actually accomplish those things. So I try to do a little bit of many things. And I can't really  excel in any one thing. For me, it's a source of real frustration when I just don't know what  kind of mother I need to be. As I've been seeking for answers, I feel the Lord has been  trying to slow me down and focus on those things which are truly important. My  relationship with the Lord and my husband, t...