Monday, February 3, 2014

Date Nights

In Pursuit
Remember WAY back when you really had a crush on this cute guy? You would have butterflies every time he walked into the room, and you wished he would look your way. You started to wonder what you could do to impress him so he would notice you. Well that was a LONG time ago.

Photo Credit: Esther Wiebe

Since then, there has been many wonderful dates of getting to know each other. He pursued you, and in return you tried to become everything you could for him. There was romance, surprises, laughter, chocolates, cards, flowers, and special trips to town in hopes of catching a glimpse of this dashing young man. And then finally there was all the arrangements followed by that nervous and exciting “I do”.

Shortly after that came the pregnancy tests, the nausea, the baby........and then another one and an another one. Life as a mother has started and you feel consumed by these precious little ones. They take up so much of your time, during the day and night. After a long evening with the baby, you crawl tiredly into the bed and you wonder, who is this man sleeping beside me. What is he up to? Does he know what is going on in my life? When was our last conversation that was uninterrupted by little voices? When did we last laugh together?

Dating is a great time to continue to pursue each other. It is a time of learning about someone in a unique, special way. Your dating life should not end once you get married, but continue as you grow together. For any relationship to thrive, there must be a continued effort to learn about each other and a constant pursuit of one another. Everybody wants to be desired and appreciated, especially by their spouse. By taking the time and effort to date your spouse, you are telling him that you value him and that he is a priority in your life.

Dating is not doing all the important things that you can't do with your children. Going on a date is about setting aside time to specifically spend time with your sweetheart without other distractions. And finding out where he is at and what is going on in his life. It doesn't have to be about doing big things or spending lots of money, but rather about the quality of the time you have together. Below are some tips to having great dates.

Dates Out
Get out of the house and have some fun.
  • Go for a scenic drive
  • Do something like bowling or mini golf
  • Go to the mall and watch all the different people go by
  • Browse a farmers market
  • Visit some local tourist attractions

Dates In
Put the children to bed early and have a date without leaving your home.
  • Play a game together
  • Take a long bath together
  • Have a late dessert together
  • Snuggle up and watch a good movie
  • Wrestle with each other (quietly!)
  • Read a book together
  • Sit on the couch, facing each other, and have a long talk

With Children
Going on date with your children.
  • Snuggle the children into strollers and go for a walk
  • Go to a park, let the children play while you cuddle on the grass
  • Go for a late drive, let you children fall asleep and just talk

Frugal Tips
Having fun while saving money is always a bonus.
  • If you are eating out share an appetizer and then a meal, instead of getting two big meals
  • Drink water instead of of soft drinks, because the drinks are often very overpriced
  • Instead of going out for supper, eat at home and just go out for a dessert
  • Take advantage of when attractions have free days or discounts, like Doors Open
  • Do things outside, like going for a walk or going to the park
  • Instead of paying for a babysitter, switch up with another family and take turns watching each others children
Some more ideas: http://www.focusonthefamily.ca/marriage/great-date-ideas

A lot of these things are not new to most of you, but they are a good reminder of things that used to come so naturally and may now be a little more difficult. We are not just mothers, but loved wives; and if we want to have exciting marriages we need to take initiative. So go, find what works best for you and your spouse, and enjoy dating each other again and bring the romance back into your marriage!

--
Maggie Fehr

6 comments:

  1. That's great Maggie: I want to ask my husband for a date. You're so right, it doesn't have to be expensive. Henry & I have had some great times together that didn't cost a lot. - Teana Wiebe

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  2. I love these ideas! Simple things can be the good times when going out on a date!
    ~Martha Fehr~

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  3. My husband sometimes asks me to go with him to get items from specialty stores in London for his work. Sometimes it's also a dinner date. I get to see what others are getting for their homes and gain insights for future projects, as well as relate to my husband. We both aren't that talkative but we enjoy our outings together.
    By the way, we enjoy having other people's children over so they can have some special time together.

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    1. Doing things with our husbands, because it's "their thing" , makes them feel special. It's sometimes hard for us because we don't understand, but it's so worth it, because we get to know them better.
      I'll have to keep that in mind,Tina! :)
      Maggie Fehr

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  4. A date doesn't have to be complicated but for some reason it is hard to plan one. We do however sit and watch a movie together and eat ice cream when the kids are in bed. Sometimes we lay in bed and just talk. Just because we are married doesn't mean we have to get comfortable and not try to get to know our spouse better or think that "hey, your already married so whats the point"? A marriage takes effort on both parts to strengthen so why not take time and make an effort.

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  5. You did a great job, Maggie! The great thing about having older kids is that they remind dad sometimes that he needs to take me on a date! Especially when they know I'm stressed :) I'm a "like to know ahead of time" kinda person but I must admit..the times when my husband has whisked me away to Coffee Culture on the spur of the moment are the best!

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